How to Avoid Marrying a Jerk

Follow your heart without losing your mind.

If you are single–or single again–the world of dating and relationships can be daunting.  Look around you–there are ads for dating sites like eHarmony.com and chemistry.com; mixers sponsored by organizations and companies; and on television, singledom is either equated with unhappiness or turned into a game, like The Bachelor. Following the “rules” of dating does not provide you with skills that will help you to choose a partner with whom you can connect.  You won’t find success in relationship until you have a thorough understanding of how relationships function and thrive.

Truth #1: Choosing your marital partner is one of the most critical decisions you will confront.
Don’t go about this lightly!  Dating and meeting new people should be a rewarding experience.  But keep in mind that if you are looking for someone to settle down with, this is a major decision that will have long-lasting effects on your health, happiness, and satisfaction in life.
Truth #2:  The culture of dating and marriage has changed drastically.
If you’re new to the dating world after a marriage or long-time relationship or you’ve just been out of the game for a while, keep in mind that things have changed over the last few years.  There are no hard and fast rules that govern how people date, but a plethora of options on the Internet and through new forms of social networking might make dating seem intimidating.  Embrace the changes and roll with whatever comes your way.
Truth #3: Singles need Mate Selection Education.
The desire to have a great relationship and the reality of achieving one often don’t align.  The key element here, obviously, is choosing a partner who is compatible.  Mysterious concepts of love, trust, commitment, intimacy, and attachment are difficult to define.  Understanding these dynamics, as well as keeping in mind what you are looking for in a marriage while you are dating, will provide you with an accurate indicator of the success of your relationship.

These three truths might seem like they’re easier said than done.  Putting them into practice is not only an achievable goal, but one that is simple to reach.  The P.I.C.K. a Partner Educational Program (Premarital Interpersonal Choices & Knowledge) teaches you how love and intimacy really work in relationships.  So when you’re out on the dating scene, you can learn how to choose a partner who is right for you and has the qualities necessary for a long-term, committed relationship.